I’ve Never Been Kissed (And That’s Okay)

never been kissed
Toa Heftiba

As I sat down to start writing this series, The One on Singleness, I had a lot of thoughts racing through my head. (Mostly thoughts about how I am totally unqualified to talk about relationships at all!) The thing that kept running through my mind was that I’ve never even been kissed, so how can I talk to other people about it? 

But God’s been really pushing me to do this—to step out of my comfort zone and be really real with you all. Sure, I haven’t been kissed yet, but you know what I know a lot about? Being single. Who better to write a series on singleness than someone who has been single for their entire life. 

So I’m doing it. And we’re starting at the beginning. 

I’ve Never Been Kissed (And That’s Okay). 

Almost a year ago now, I wrote a post titled “The Misconception of Modern Romance.” To this day, this is one of my favorite posts that I’ve ever written. (If you haven’t read it, you can do so here). When I first thought about writing a series on singleness, I was drawn back to this post. 

We, as a generation, have fallen for so many of these misconceptions about dating and relationships. So to start this series off, I would like to point out some of these misconceptions for you. 

  1. You don’t have to have your first kiss by a certain point in your life (i.e. sixteen) to reach adulthood. I’ve gone 21 years without being kissed and I don’t think I’m any less of a person because of it. In fact, it is special that whoever does get to be my first kiss will know how much they mean to me. 
  2. You don’t have to sleep with someone to get them to like you. This is one that I see so much from my dearest friends. They have this deep rooted belief that if they don’t have sex with their significant other, that they suddenly become undesirable. And this simply isn’t true—and if your s/o does become uninterested with you if you don’t have sex with them, than you know what they really wanted anyway. 
  3. Dating for fun. What even is “dating for fun?” Quite honestly, you’re dating for one of two things: a breakup or marriage. I’ve chosen to be intentional in who I do decide to date, because I am dating for marriage. I’m a marriage minded person, and this scares a lot of people. There is a fear of commitment among our generation. 
  4. College isn’t a time for experimenting. Just please. Be careful. 
  5. There is something to be said for dating someone who has the same belief system as you do. It makes a relationship really hard when you have two very different world views. 

And there are so many more that I’m sure will come up as this series continues. My original plan was for this series to last for four weeks. It may be longer or shorter than that at this point—I’m not sure. I just wanted to give you all a little taste at what is to come.

Next week we will be talking about companionship and where we can find that in our singleness. 


Shi xx


The One On Singleness

The other day I started a poll on twitter to see what you all would like to see first on this revamped version of The Grace Collective. Unsurprisingly, singleness won and so that’s what we are going to jump in on first. (Follow me on twitter if you’d like to be a part of future polls).

The One On Singleness

So you want love advice from a perpetually single twenty-something? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Except, this isn’t going to be your typical love advice. In fact, if you’re looking for someone to tell you to “just do it” and that your boyfriend is great even though he treats you like poo, you should probably go somewhere else.

No, I’m starting off this series to show you that being single is okay and that God has someone out there for you who is going to treat you the way that you deserve to be treated.

Imagine a God who loves you enough to send his only son down to take the burden of your sins. That’s a lot of love. Imagine all of the good he has in store for you in your relationships as well, as long as you have the patience to wait.

The One On Singleness series will start tomorrow, Friday 5/12 and run for four weeks. I will be posting a new entry to it every Friday.

I hope you are all as excited about this series as I am!

I’ll talk to you tomorrow,

Shi xx

A New Season

The Lord likes to stretch us, that’s for sure.

So, long time, no real, solid post. I could sit here and try to explain why it happened and why I haven’t been writing, but that would take a long time when the simple answer is this:

God has been changing my heart on what this blog is supposed to be and how I am supposed to use it.

It has been kind of a fight in my spirit because, let’s face it, I’m selfish. We all are. When God decides He wants us to use something that’s been soley ours for so long and make it about Him, we don’t want to do it. I know for myself, at least, I like attention. I think that it is in our human nature to like attention.

And now God wants the attention. And that’s been hard to give up.

But I have finally stepped into a place where I’m saying, “okay, God, use me,” because I’m ready to be stretched. I want to be stretched.

So, we’re starting a new season here at the grace collective. This is a season of ministry. It’s a season of pouring something into the Lord so abundantly and fully that there’s no way I’ll be able to do it in my own flesh and blood. It’s going to have to be through him.

A New Season

So here is what this new season is going to look like.

  1. This is going to be ministry. I’m not completely sure what that will look like, but it will be faith-based. I know a lot of you who read this blog, read it for lifestyle content. That is going to change some. That’s not to say I’ll never post lifestyle posts, but they will be more rare.
  2. I’m going to get really real with you. I’m not perfect; I’m a mess at least 32% of the time. But that’s okay, because my God is perfect and He’s forgiven me.
  3. I want it to be a discussion. My desire is for open communication between me and my readers. I want to talk to you all about what the Lord is doing in your lives. That would make my heart so, so happy.
  4. I want to challenge myself to dig deeper into the word, and to trust that the Lord will reveal new truths for me as I am working on this blog.

I am planning on doing this big, guys. I feel it in my spirit to really have multiple avenues and ways to really speak to you all about the Lord. So with that being said, I am considering making a YouTube channel for The Grace Collective as well. If you would be interested in ministry style videos, please let me know in the comments below.

I hope you will all stick around for this new season that I’m walking in, and I appreciate your support as I go into this.


Shi xx


faith, music
No Longer // A Playlist

2017 has started off rough, to say the least. Between January and today, May 7, so much has happened to my family that it would be tedious and a bit redundant to sit here and write about all of it. Through all of the rough, Jesus has been there holding my heart. 
This year, although it’s been the hardest of my life so far, has taught me so incredibly much about my faith and the Lord. I have a lot I want to talk to you guys about, and a post will be coming really soon about it all, but for now I wanted to leave you with this. 
We are no longer tied down to the bad days, the mistakes, the fear, the heartache. We are no longer. 
“it is no longer I who lives, but Christ Jesus who lives inside me.” 
Shi xx

Twenty One

This past weekend was some sort of dream.

My sister is a darling. For my 21st birthday, she planned me a surprise party. Like, AN ACTUAL SURPRISE PARTY.

I had no clue it was happening (obviously) and I thought that I was just going out with Heather to celebrate. I got all dressed up and planned to head out to some sort of dinner or something, but before we could go we needed to stop at the church to drop off a sippy cup. We didn’t need to drop off a sippy cup. I walked inside the fellowship hall to see all of my favorite people standing there. I can’t tell you how close to tears that brought me.

The party was beautiful. Merci has such an eye for this kind of thing that it’s ridiculous.

It was so much fun spending the night with my family and friends. We danced, ate tacos, ate cake, danced some more, had an intense sing along to Bohemian Rhapsody. It was great. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to celebrate my 21.

My favorite part was the line dancing. I love to line dance. It is so much fun when everybody is up and moving!

I don’t think that I’ll ever forget walking into that building, hearing everyone sing to me, and then feeling little arms wrap around my legs and a tiny voice saying “happy birthday, Shiloh.” My family has my entire heart. I don’t know what I would do without them or their love. It was a weekend that dreams are made of. I still can’t believe that it happened to me.

Also, Merci is starting to book parties! If you would like to book a party with her, you can contact for a consultation. We will get back to you within 48 business hours. Her website will be up and running really soon.

All the love,

Shi xx