As I sat down to start writing this series, The One on Singleness, I had a lot of thoughts racing through my head. (Mostly thoughts about how I am totally unqualified to talk about relationships at all!) The thing that kept running through my mind was that I’ve never even been kissed, so how can I talk to other people about it?
But God’s been really pushing me to do this—to step out of my comfort zone and be really real with you all. Sure, I haven’t been kissed yet, but you know what I know a lot about? Being single. Who better to write a series on singleness than someone who has been single for their entire life.
So I’m doing it. And we’re starting at the beginning.
I’ve Never Been Kissed (And That’s Okay).
Almost a year ago now, I wrote a post titled “The Misconception of Modern Romance.” To this day, this is one of my favorite posts that I’ve ever written. (If you haven’t read it, you can do so here). When I first thought about writing a series on singleness, I was drawn back to this post.
We, as a generation, have fallen for so many of these misconceptions about dating and relationships. So to start this series off, I would like to point out some of these misconceptions for you.
- You don’t have to have your first kiss by a certain point in your life (i.e. sixteen) to reach adulthood. I’ve gone 21 years without being kissed and I don’t think I’m any less of a person because of it. In fact, it is special that whoever does get to be my first kiss will know how much they mean to me.
- You don’t have to sleep with someone to get them to like you. This is one that I see so much from my dearest friends. They have this deep rooted belief that if they don’t have sex with their significant other, that they suddenly become undesirable. And this simply isn’t true—and if your s/o does become uninterested with you if you don’t have sex with them, than you know what they really wanted anyway.
- Dating for fun. What even is “dating for fun?” Quite honestly, you’re dating for one of two things: a breakup or marriage. I’ve chosen to be intentional in who I do decide to date, because I am dating for marriage. I’m a marriage minded person, and this scares a lot of people. There is a fear of commitment among our generation.
- College isn’t a time for experimenting. Just please. Be careful.
- There is something to be said for dating someone who has the same belief system as you do. It makes a relationship really hard when you have two very different world views.
And there are so many more that I’m sure will come up as this series continues. My original plan was for this series to last for four weeks. It may be longer or shorter than that at this point—I’m not sure. I just wanted to give you all a little taste at what is to come.
Next week we will be talking about companionship and where we can find that in our singleness.